Speaking Out
Leadership is hard, just ask David Cameron. He is the latest politician to find himself in the middle of a mess created by our society.
On the one hand our society tells us that you have to be open, candid and even transparent. On the other hand you would rather keep certain things quiet.
Tony Blair falls into this quagmire every time he goes on holiday. Bill Clinton was faced with the same dilemma during his impeachment fiasco.
Whether it is alleged misuse of drugs as a teenager, misuse of influential peoples holiday homes or misuse of the oval office, not every indiscretion needs to be open to public scrutiny, and have every sordid detail traipsed through the media. Certain things should not be spelled out; they should rather be understood by those discerning enough to understand. Enough said.
Certain things dont need to be spelled out. We can communicate without speaking. In fact, most of our communication is non verbal. Not speaking about something can be as informative as speaking about it. In certain circumstances, silence is a means of agreeing, without formal admission.
Silence could also be a way of saying lets not talk about that nowIm not ready to have that conversation. You may be too emotional to hold a conversation. In that respect silence is golden. You can avoid a whole lot of trouble by holding your counsel. I suspect Paul Jewell could have done with those golden pearls! In the Torah we find Aaron is praised by responding to the death of his two sons with silence. Aaron is full of emotions; and is therefore silent.
It is important to try to understand why people are being silent. They may be telling you something very important, if only you would listen to their silence.
One of the attributes of G-d is truth but at times He sanctions discretion over disclosure. This principle is seen in the Torah in the context of a very interesting commandment, which is often misunderstood. The Torah tells us to rebuke our friends. If they have upset you, let them know. If they are acting in a way which you consider to be inappropriate, tell them.
What is often misunderstood is that this commandment applies only to your friend. If the person doesnt feel that you have their best interest at heart, then keep quiet. You will only make things worse by pointing out how you feel they should behave.
This also applies to a group of people. If they dont consider you a sincere person, dont criticise; it will only antagonise. Moses could rebuke the children of Israel because they knew that Moses considered them as his own children.
Speaking publicly about disunity in the Jewish people should only be done if it is coming from, and is seen to be coming from a place of friendship. And who can claim friendship from all parts of the Jewish people? We need leaders who love us, and can hopefully unite us with their leadership.
Rabbi Dr Leslie Solomon is a doctor at the A&E department of the Lister hospital in Stevenage. He is also a practicing mohel.
