WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT...ROMANCE
Having FOUR kids can be expensive, especially during Chanukah. Now that I have almost paid off my Chanukah credit card debit, Valentine’s Day is suddenly around the corner.
When it comes to Valentine’s Day it seems “more is more”. After-all, aren’t diamonds supposed to be a girl’s best friend? Yet, a recent survey compiled by uSwitch noted that three million Brits say they simply can’t afford Valentine’s Day, although around 30 percent of those weak souls that do cave in to the Clinton Cards cupid cliché and cough-up around £20.
In school we ran to our lockers, hoping to see a bunch of pink and red cards waiting for us. While my locker was never empty, it wasn’t exactly overflowing, either.
School was a long time ago but, as a rabbi, my contempt for Cupid has only grown. The whole occasion is so fabricated and trite.
We send out millions of cards. Drugstores turn themselves into chocolatiers for a week, to the point where I can’t find the vitamins and cough syrup.
Florists have their busiest day of the year. Restaurant reservations are at a premium. But after all that build up, how can the day itself turn out to be anything but a flop?
And when we designate a single day to celebrate the power of love, what does that mean for the rest of the year? We hate each other?
Even the Vatican seems to share my low opinion of Valentine’s Day. The “Vatican II” reforms of the 1960s crossed the feast of St Valentine off the Church calendar, explaining that the lore surrounding the “patron saint of lovers” was nothing more than romantic legend.
Speaking of which, one of the least known but perhaps most joyous and festive holidays on the Jewish calendar occurs on the 15th day of the Hebrew month of Av. Tu B’Av is both an ancient and modern holiday. At one time, it marked a matchmaking day for unmarried women. In modern times, Tu B’Av has slowly evolved into a Hebrew-Jewish “Day of Love,” a little like Valentine’s Day.
The last Mishnah in Tractate Ta’anis says: “There were no holidays so joyous for the Jewish People as Tu B’Av (15 Av) and Yom HaKippurim (The Day of Atonement), for on those days, daughters of Jerusalem would go out dressed in borrowed white clothing.”
The Mishnah explains that women borrowed each other’s white dresses, so as not to bring shame upon those who couldn’t afford finery. On that day, the poorest woman may have ended up wearing the most expensive dress. The message to suitors was not to judge their potential brides by mere externals.
If only Valentine’s Day could incorporate a lesson from Tu B’Av: it doesn’t matter how many cards you get in your locker, as long as you find one special card you’ll treasure for a lifetime.
