Vayishlach
“Dinah… went out to see what the local girls were doing… Shechem… the prince took her… loved her and spoke soothingly to her.” Genesis 34:1-3
The Jews of North Africa in the sixties were largely traditional if not observant of Judaism. A deep-rooted love and ancient faith permeated those communities resident for one or even two millennia. Yet under the influence of colonialists, a new wave of thought developed. In some circles, it was OK to marry another Jew, but a gentile Frenchman? Well that was “going up in the world”.
What was previously unconscionable under Arab rule was now happening under European influence – intermarriage. Why?
A clue lies in this week’s portion. Jacob raised his children on the strict principles of propriety. His only daughter, Dinah, took it into her head to keep company with attention-seeking Canaanite girls. The rest fast became history. Her charm and beauty caught the eye of a young Canaanite prince, an overlord in what is now Nablus, Samaria. One day, he snatched from her female friends and slept with her. Some claim she was raped, at least one prominent commentator does not agree.
Dinah was not simply the object of a short-lived lust. The prince, Shechem son of Hamor applied from Jacob’s family to marry her. The verse describes her as “Dinah daughter of Leah, who gave birth to her to Jacob” – in this awkward, indirect way – indicating a distance in the father-daughter relationship.
Meanwhile, the prince embarked on a campaign of wooing Dinah. He loved her, and spoke to her, soothing her anxious heart with calming words. What was he saying to her?
She must have been afraid of her father. What would he say or do? And what was Shechem telling her?
Scriptural commentator Rashi reveals: Shechem was telling her – look, your father spent a fortune buying a single piece of land from my father. You marry me and you will have the entire city and its fields for yourself!”
Rashi describes here one possible temptation to intermarriage – the easy way up the ladder of wealth or social position. This may not always be the backdrop, but here it seems so.
Why should Dinah have gone down this path? Her father Jacob had only just recently emerged from the double trauma of leaving their home in the fertile crescent of Mesopotamia to return to Canaan and face up to an angry Uncle Esau. The family was nervous of the new reality and or the first time in three generations, the family of Abraham had a girl of marriageable age with twelve brothers!
Dinah was a loner looking for friendship, solace and desperate to live normally. She was sick of quirky tribal nomadic wandering and mobile identity. She wanted to be part of the accepted, landed, rooted local society.
Women, biblical or modern all want stability in a relationship, as do most men, no doubt. Tragically, neither of her parents managed to give her timely guidance on how not to be fooled by Mr. Moneybags.
Unfortunately, her father let her go find out what reality was like her own way. Instead of making a clear-headed choice, Dinah ended up in a messy relationship, beset by guilt over having “crossed the line” unsure whether exchanging her spiritual heritage was a good exchange for Freedom of the City of Nablus. Wow.
There is in this story a message for us all. We need to pay more attention for our teenagers more than we do for our cars, our holidays and shopping in Brent Cross and Bluewater. Gucci and Choo can wait a Sunday, Dinah won’t. A stitch in time spent communicating with our sons and daughters maturing hormonally could save much miserable knitting later.
Shabbat Shalom.
Rabbi Ariel Abel is rabbi of the Radlett United Synagogue, the fastest growing congregational community in the UK, and Director of the Judith Lady Montefiore College London Semicha Programme, training rabbinic undergraduates for future pulpits in Anglo-Jewry.
