Dear Kate
You ask a complex question that lingers in the minds of many and will probably take up more column space than I would intend, but it is an important subject and needs some elaboration.

The mikveh, once regarded by some leading therapists as of the most archaic of Jewish rituals is today seen by those same therapists as one of Judaism’s greatest “innovations.” When we speak of mikveh we think of ritual purity and impurity, which many wrongly associate with states of cleanliness. The terms ritual purity and impurity relate to the spiritual level of man. When we talk about man or woman being impure we are talking about a spiritual vacuum. Thus when a human being who contains a soul passes on, the soul leaves the body and there is this intense spiritual vacuum. Coming into contact with that renders one impure. This is why a Cohen, who is expected to maintain a higher level of sanctity, cannot be present at a funeral (other than for immediate family). It is also why we wash our hands upon return from the funeral.

There are different intervals in a woman’s life where she too experiences this spiritual vacuum. That is, for example with the birth of a baby – where an independent soul as contained within the baby now leaves the body, or indeed when the potential child, as contained within an egg is expelled.

So how does the mikvah restore that state of purity? For one thing it has to be natural rainwater. Water, which is the prototype of fluid, unlike solid matter, is capable of change and does not have any permanence. In the second verse of Genesis, the Torah states: “And the spirit of God hovered over the waters.” God’s spirit as it was manifest in the creation process enabled change. His infinite compassion enabled there to be change in the world so that we, His ultimate creation, could always be subject to change. Even as we may be distant we can always change and become closer. Even as we may be ritually impure we can always change and become ritually pure again. Moreover water is the life
force of man without which we cannot exist. It balances the solidity of our universe and metabolises the body of man. If our spiritual essence has been affected as a result of a vacuum then we utilise the greatest physical life force available to us to restore us to our original spiritual state.

But most significant is what we do in this water. We immerse. We are totally submerged in a habitat that is not natural to us. This submersion is called in Hebrew tevillah, which are the same letters as the world bitul meaning self-nullification. When submitting ourselves, even if only momentarily into a state where we can otherwise not survive, we reflect on our vulnerability and recognise our dependency on a Higher Order. That negates the ego which is the ultimate obstruction to all things spiritual.

When someone converts to the Jewish faith one of the essential requirements is immersion in a mikveh. As one assumes a new spiritual dynamic when embracing the new faith, the immersion is that defining moment when that transpires. Just as indeed the Jewish nation were instructed to immerse in a mikveh prior to the giving of the Torah at Sinai. Until such point they were defined by their slavery and Egyptian exile, but through immersion and the process of self-nullification, they experienced a spiritual rebirth as it were.

Some people might regard the period of abstention prior to the mikveh as anachronistic and a religious imposition. The hard fact is however that during this time husband and wife learn to communicate on a different level. The laws of family purity insure that for a given period each month, respect, affection, and all the other factors that bind two people together, with the exception of the physical, can be nurtured within the relationship. This formula enables the physical dimension to be restrained and preserved so that the other factors, especially the spiritual dimension can be developed. On the other hand it also creates a honeymoon scenario each month, ensuring that the intimacy itself never becomes monotonous and unappealing. It is the key formula, which enables a husband and wife to grow in a bond that is sadly, increasingly unsustainable in our current society.

Kate, embrace the beauty of the mitzvah that you have and look to make the most of it in all contexts of your relationship. And for those readers who may not yet be aware of the implications and practise of this mitzvah, have a word with your rabbi, rebbetzin or some other educator. It can make a dramatic difference to your relationship and general spiritual life.

Dear Mark
Is it that time of year already? I’m still sobering up from Purim…

Dishwasher: Clean thoroughly on the inside with a good detergent. Wait twenty-four hours since its last use. Run through at least one cycle on the hottest temperature. The racks will certainly require replacing. Where the dishwasher is made of plastic there is some debate on this and your rabbi should be consulted.

Microwave: Scrub thoroughly. Wait twenty-four hours since last using the microwave. Then put in a clean utensil filled with water and allow to boil so that it steams up inside (approx. 20 minutes). The glass at the bottom would need to be covered (not with foil of course) or changed. If the interior is plastic, talk to your rabbi. Happy Pesach and remember – it’s about keeping the laws of Pesach properly – not some back-breaking obsessive compulsive spring cleaning.