What's First?
What's First
The Family Gathering: Before making any plans all parties should get together and discuss what town the wedding will be in, who will pay for what, budgets, the number of guests per family and, for the Bride and Groom, who is responsible for the different parts of the wedding and, most importantly, how to celebrate the engagement of the children! Who pays?
Synagogue: Priority should be given to booking the synagogue as most have very busy schedules. Don't just book one synagogue or date provisionally as your chosen caterer, venue or band may not be available. You can get married in either your own synagogue with your Rabbi or in another synagogue of your choice. If you want a Rabbi to officiate at a different synagogue, he and the incumbent need to liaise. The choir and Chazzan will require separate booking and payment.
Venue or Marquee: Your next priority is the venue - make sure the location is appropriate and accessible for the majority of your guests. Check the capacity of the hall and the standard of the facilities. Ensure you know exactly what is included in the price of the venue hire and what extras may be anticipated e.g. bridal suite. Ask whether an outside caterer is allowed or if they have a kosher caterer on site. If the venue is out of town for many guests, see if they can do a deal for your guests.
Caterer: When choosing the caterer make sure you are familiar with the standard and style of their work and then confirm they have seen or used your chosen venue. Menus can be anything you want them to be but listen to your caterer's advice about what is and what isn't suitable for your approximate number of guests or for the layout of the venue. (Also, remember the milk & meat rule!). If you have any colour or style requests for tablecloths and crockery check whether they can provide them. Spell out exactly what you want and don't take anything for granted.
The Band or DJ: Selection of a band or DJ who suit the taste of you and your friends, your family and their friends is essential. Make sure you get the chance to sit down with them and discuss what music you would like them to play and if you have any specific requests. Inform them of your first song early on in case it is new to them so it will be played to perfection on the night. Also if there are any noise level restrictions at the venue warn them in advance as you don't want to be in the middle of your first dance when the music stops.
The Flowers: Once the colour scheme has been chosen for the wedding, go and see a few florists' portfolios and check whether their style will be in keeping with your wedding theme. If you are unsure of what you would like, discuss options with them and ask them to prepare a sample arrangement for you. Don't forget to discuss your bouquet and additional flowers for ushers and bridesmaids.
Photographer and/or Video man: There are a number of companies that do both videos and photographs for weddings but they are not a necessity. Have a look at examples of previous wedding photos and videos any professional has done to give you an idea of their style. If possible, try to meet up with your photographer or Video man before the day so you know you will feel comfortable in their presence as they will be spending a large proportion of the day with you.
The Honeymoon: Don't forget before booking your honeymoon to check with your work how many weeks you can take off, and very often employers will allow extra. Give yourselves a budget to work within, check the weather for that time of the year in different locations, then go speak to your travel agent. For some ideas of places to stay click on to our Honeymoon site.
The Wedding Gift List: It is best to consider early on where to have your wedding list. They can be set up at department stores and/or specialist stores. The standard of service varies from basic to truly personal.
Transport: Think who you need cars for before booking and whether you will use your own car or hire cars. A car is needed for the Bride and the people she wants to travel with, the Groom's family if they are not travelling with the Bride, bridesmaids and, possibly, the Groom, ushers and Best Man. However, as the ushers and Best Man have to arrive before the rest of the wedding party you can ask if the driver has time to take them to the synagogue and then go back for others. If the venue is far from the synagogue you may want to consider hiring a coach to take the guests. However, ensure you have names and numbers of people going on the coach beforehand.
Best Man , Bridesmaids, Page Boys, Ushers and Witnesses: Don't forget to ask the relevant people if they will perform the job on the day, not just so they will make sure they are available, but also because they will most likely be very happy that you asked in the first place. Then start thinking about what you would like them to wear. Alternatively, you may want to wait until after you have found your perfect wedding dress.
Wedding Dress: This has got to be one of the highlights of any girl's life. We all grew up dreaming about what we want to wear so make sure you have fun shopping. First, we would strongly suggest you visit a store that stocks a number of different styles so you know whether to go for something very simple or something decorative. To help you on your way we have a selection of dresses to take a look at and a list of stockists.
| More Planning Guide |
| Making it Official |
| What's First? |
| 3 Months To Go |
| One Month To Go |
| One Week To Go |
| One Day To Go |
