Mourning Rituals
Although life and the preservation of life are considered to be of paramount importance in Jewish thought, death is not a concept that Jews shy away from.
According to the Mishna in Pirkei Avot (4:21), this world is merely a kind of waiting room that we find ourselves in before arriving in the World to Come, and life is to be used as a means of preparing ourselves for the spiritual rewards that await after death.
There are many mourning rituals associated with death in Judaism of course, but their purpose is not to allow us to wallow in misery or reflect on what we perceive to be a tragedy. The preparation of the body, burial, shiva, stone-setting and extended mourning period rather provide us with the opportunity to show respect to the dead, and also allow for others to comfort the living and gradually bring them back to normality.
What To Do When A Relative Dies
The first step for relatives to take when a person dies is to telephone the office of the relevant burial society and leave contact details. The next port of call should be the synagogue Rabbi of the deceased and the chevra kadisha, if there is one. The members of this voluntary organisation will prepare the body for burial, washing it and wrapping it in simple shrouds. Some men are also buried in a kittel, the white coat traditionally worn on the High Holy Days and under the chuppah.
It is important to note that between the time of death and burial, the body of the deceased should never be left unattended. Those who perform this duty are known as the “shomrim”, the guards. As a sign of respect, they may not eat, drink or perform any mitzvot in the presence of the deceased.
Before burial can go ahead, it is also necessary to register the death. A death certificate should be obtained from the doctor or hospital and taken to the relevant Registrar for Births, Deaths and Marriages as soon as possible. Once the burial society office is satisfied that this has been done, arrangements for the funeral will be made.
When Should Buriel Take Place?
According to Jewish law, burial should take place as soon as possible after death. Because of the prohibition against desecration of the human body, autopsies are to be avoided wherever possible. For the same reason, cremation is halachically forbidden. Open coffins are also not permitted, as they are considered to be disrespectful to the deceased.
Seven Days Of Mourning
As soon as a person has been buried, a seven-day mourning period known as the shiva ('seven' in english) commences. Mourners sit on low chairs or stools – hence the expression to “sit shiva” - and are joined by family and friends for prayers each evening. However, shiva does not take place on Shabbat or during festivals. The seven-day period reflects the fact the world was created in seven days and the loss of a person is, in itself like losing a miniature world.
The Kaddish Prayer
Kaddish is a special prayer in Aramaic, recited by for 11 months for a parent or sibling and 30 days for a spouse. It lauds God but makes no mention of the deceased.
