A Victim of Anti-Semitism But I'm Not Even Jewish

by Chas Newkey-Burden - Thursday 25th 2009f June 2009

I've got a confession to make: I am responsible for the credit crunch. Apparently, it's all because I'm being covertly funded by a global Zionist financial conspiracy. Or at least I am in the eyes of several visitors to my blog.

No sooner did I start blogging as a non-Jewish supporter of Israel (at www.oyvagoy.com) than I was bombarded by all sorts of bizarre online comments from visiting anti-Semites, aghast that a non-Jew might dare to support the Jewish state and convinced that there must be some sort of dark plot involved. One such frequent visitor likes to ask me: "So how much are those Jews paying you, Chas?"

So - how much are "those Jews" paying me? Not a penny, not even a shekel, is the disappointing truth. But then I'm no more in the online Hasbara racket for the (non-existent) money than I am for the friends it makes me among the Jew-haters of the worldwide web ("You've got blood on your hands, you filthy scumbag" etc). I'm in it because I genuinely love Israel and am deeply upset by the growing anti-Semitism British Jews are facing left, right and centre. It's been eye-opening to discover what anonymous, online anti-Semites say when it's a non-Jew they are venting their spleen on.

I've grown strangely fond of some of these kooky visitors, as they keep me endlessly entertained with their latest theories. One of my regulars likes to inform me that I only blog in support of Israel and the Jewish community because I suffer from an "enormous inferiority complex". I suppose they call that projection, as it is the anti-Semites of the world who are all too often suffering from that complex in my experience. And according to one of my best friends, that isn't the only inversion at work in their accusation. When I told him about it he burst out laughing and said: "Erm no, it's an enormous superiority complex you suffer from." Not true, I'm just much better than him, is all.

Meanwhile, just where are all these predatory dabbis that are supposedly "brain-washing" me? One Christian visitor from Nigeria is convinced that I'm being indoctrinated by missionary Jews (try reading some basic facts about Judaism, pal) and that if I fly to Nigeria, he can "save me" from a forced conversion and all the "terrible terrors" that it involves. Terrible terrors? Sounds fun, no? Think I'll stay here and take my chances.

It is not just my website that these cranks descend upon to heckle me. Another site, which dared to positively review one of my books, had every discussion for months disrupted by hysterical flaming about my admiration of former Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin. Well, at least they got that one factually correct. And I have to admit, another poster on my blog has got me at least partially bang to rights when he says: "You're only doing this because you've got a crush on Benjamin Netanyahu." Not factually correct, but I know just what he means. There's just... something about Bibi, isn't there?

Meanwhile, on the financial conspiracy front, I'm really not proud. I'll gleefully pass on my paying-in details to any person (Jewish or otherwise) who wants to make me part of any sort of fiscal plot. So bring it on, all donations welcome - however large. Don't let me down, I shall be checking my bank balance hourly.

• Chas Newkey-Burden is co-author with Julie Burchill of Not In My Name: A Compendium of Modern Hypocrisy